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Some ramblings...

A sprig of lavender with the text Some ramblings on being bored
I feel a bit lost in life right now.

By many measures, I'm quite successful -- I have a lot of friends and a few very close confidants. I have great mentors. I've got a job, a roof over my head, a kid that is making their own way in life, a dog that I love. I am able to explore the world and my interests, and I no longer have to work 60 to 80 hours per week to afford to live. 

And yet...

I'm feeling a bit directionless. 

This happens every now and then, but since my uncle died from a brain tumor (glioblastoma) in 2017, it's been happening far more frequently and much more intensely than it has before. 

This week, I'm feeling the rut. 

I have some things percolating and am building a new business, but so far it's mostly behind the scenes work, so I'm not yet seeing the results of my efforts. 

I have a couple of books that I need to read for my private tutoring students and a couple of groups I'm in, but none is really grabbing my attention fully right now.

I want to bake and cook, but I'm not feeling very inspired in the kitchen at the moment. 

I want to plan a trip, but I need to work and accrue PTO first. 

Mostly, I think I'm just feeling bored. 

Thankfully, after a period of boredom, I usually have a period of intense creativity, huge leaps in personal growth, and gain insights into what should come next in my life.

The waiting in the meantime is...boring.

Do you experience anything like this? Leave a comment and let me know.

I'm not depressed. I have a history of depression and anxiety, and this is much different. I'm truly just bored. I like to think of this as a fallow time, much like a garden or farm needs time to rest before the next crop is planted, I need time to sit back and just let myself be bored before the next idea or project or great thing gets going in my life. 

a dark snowy scene with bare flower heads

a light scene with lavender flower sprigs


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